When Saying Thank You Becomes a Tick-Box Exercise

Gratitude is a beautiful thing—when it’s genuine. But lately, I’ve been thinking about how it shows up in corporate spaces. Honestly, It’s been leaving me cold.

At the end of last year, I sat through a leadership meeting that, to be blunt, was heavy on admin and light on inspiration. As we were wrapping up, the manager decided to end on a “positive note” by asking everyone to share something they appreciated—specifically aimed at someone else on the team.

Cue the awkward, forced compliments. People thanked each other for everything from being a sounding board for work frustrations to providing support when things got tough. And when it got to my turn, I wanted to say,

“Pass.”

I didn’t (because, professionalism), but I really wanted to.

Then, as I have been going through my inbox after my Christmas break, I came back to find an email with three paragraphs of 'gratitude' sitting in my inbox. Anonymous messages from my team, submitted through a feedback form.

And honestly? I rolled my eyes. It didn’t feel genuine,it felt forced, like another tick-box exercise. The anonymity made it worse. Because, surely if you’re truly thankful for someone, why not just tell them? And while I appreciate being acknowledged, the focus on my output—things I see as just doing my job—felt tokenistic.

Here’s the thing, and this is why I feel so strongly about this topic. Gratitude is my love language. Just ask my friends—they’ll tell you how often I’m sending them messages or calling to say, “Hey, I just wanted to let you know I appreciate you because…” It’s how I show up for the people I care about. I love the idea of giving people their flowers while they’re alive—telling them, face-to-face, that they’ve made a difference or that you’re grateful for them.

But when this kind of recognition becomes a corporate initiative, something to tick off a checklist, it loses its heart.

At one point, I wondered if I was just being a grump about all this. So, I did what I always do when I’m feeling dramatic: I checked in with two of my dearest friends.

Their verdict?

Nope, I wasn’t being unreasonable. In fact, they pointed out some fascinating parallels between this clumsiness around gratitude and the broader issues in corporate wellness and belonging. (But that’s probably a topic for another blog.)

Maybe I’m being too cynical. But these orchestrated displays don’t feel meaningful. They feel like an exercise, something we’re doing because someone decided it’s what “good teams” should do.

And I think that’s the problem. Corporate spaces are full of well-intentioned ideas that get rolled out in the clumsiest ways. For me, appreciation shouldn’t feel like a meeting agenda item. It shouldn’t come packaged in a form or a script. It should be messy, spontaneous, and personal.

For me, the most meaningful moments come from the specific and the real. It’s not about a person’s deliverables or theirKPIs—it’s about who they are, the small things they bring to a team or a moment that make a difference. It’s about connection.

So, here’s the question I keep coming back to: 

How do we hold onto the beauty of showing thanks without letting it get swallowed by the corporate machine?

I don’t have the answer. But I think it starts with remembering that appreciation isn’t a task. It’s a choice. It’s about noticing the little things, saying thank you in a way that feels real, and leaving room for it to just… exist without being forced.

Because when expressions of thanks become a buzzword, they stop being meaningful.

And we all deserve better than that..