My Nervous System Has Some Thoughts About Weighted Squats

I've never thought about my nervous system before. I mean, does anyone? It's not exactly something you ponder while sipping your tea, is it?

But when your PT hands you a 22kg dumbbell (or maybe it's 22.5—does it even matter at that weight?) and cheerfully announces, "Let's do weighted squats," suddenly your entire body is like, 

Excuse me, ma'am. What the hell are we doing here?

And because I am slightly terrified of my trainer, I obviously do it.

Every.

Time.

The moment I pick up that dumbbell, it's like my body stages a protest. Every nerve, muscle, and system is screaming, Alarm! Alarm! Please put down this ridiculous weight! 

And honestly, I get it.

The first squat feels like a betrayal of my entire being.

By the time I've survived the first set, I'm glaring daggers at my trainer while she just laughs at me. Because apparently, near-death experiences are hilarious.

I'll usually mutter something to her like, "What even is this? What just happened?" And of course, she hits me with a smug, "Your nervous system is adapting." Oh, cool. Great. Love that for me.

It turns out she's right (annoying, isn't it, when they're always right?). On the second and third sets, it doesn't get easier—never say it's easier, by the way.

That's PT code for "Go fetch a heavier weight." But it does feel… different. My body is no longer in full panic mode.

It's like my nervous system has reluctantly accepted its fate: Fine, we're doing this. But don't think I like it.

This was the first time I really thought about my nervous system and how it reacts to challenge. It's not just about muscles or fitness—it's about survival instincts and how my body sends messages to keep me safe, even when I'm just doing squats.

Since that revelation, I've started paying more attention to my body, especially when things feel out of sorts. Take today, for example. I didn't sleep well, and when I woke up, my whole body was in this weird, jumbled state. Out of whack. Maybe it's my nervous system trying to tell me something.

So instead of launching into my usual morning chaos—gym, shower, clothes, bam, bam, bam—I decided to slow things down. I made a cup of tea, played music (the kind that lets me pretend I'm a backup singer), and just let myself recalibrate.

It wasn't meditation exactly, though I'm sure someone would try to sell me a mindfulness course for this.

But it felt right.

It was about listening to my body for once and not pushing through the noise.

This whole experience has made me wonder how often I ignore what my body is trying to tell me.

I've spent years powering through stress, exhaustion, and tension without really stopping to ask, 

Why am I feeling this way? 

Is it anxiety?

Overwhelm?

Or just my nervous system going..... Oi! Pay attention!

I don't have all the answers, but today felt different.

Today, I listened. And maybe that's all my nervous system has been asking me to do all along. Just take a breath and be aware of what's going on beneath the surface.

So here's to more mornings like this, where the dumbbells are metaphorical, the tea is hot, and my nervous system doesn't need to yell at me quite so much.

Progress, right?