Who Am I Outside of Work?
Mauao Historic Reserve - New Zealand - December 2024
Over Christmas 2024, my dear friend Ritchie hit me with a question I wasn't ready for: 'Who is Audrey outside of work?' My brain froze. I managed to mumble something about podcasts, meeting friends, building community, and being creative. It wasn't a bad answer, but it didn't feel like the whole answer either. So, naturally, I turned the question back on him.
Ritchie—being Ritchie—gave this thoughtful, poetic response that left me somewhere between inspired and quietly annoyed at how well he knows himself.
So, I did what felt safest: I said, 'Ask me again in a year.'
The question hasn't left me since. And here I am, sitting in New Zealand, surrounded by December summer sunshine, beaches, and every reason to just relax with a book, completely failing at the whole' holiday mode' thing.
Instead, I've been turning this question over in my mind and giving myself deadlines to write about it. Honestly, who needs the ocean breeze when you've got a good old-fashioned existential crisis?
A fantastic view of Cooks Beach, New Zealand - December 2024
But maybe this is exactly what I need. I mean, if there's ever a time to figure out who you are outside of work, it's when you're far away from your desk. That said, this is still a tricky question for me, so I turned to writing—and okay, I may have asked ChatGPT for some help too. Between my own reflections and a little AI input, I've landed on a few reasons why this feels so challenging.
The Five Reasons I Struggled to Answer This Question
Work as a Core Identity: Work has always been where I pour my creativity, my energy, my problem-solving. And while I love what I do, I realise I haven't left much space for other parts of me to grow.
Being in Transition: I'm in the middle of exploring new things—like starting this blog—and leaning into creative risks I haven't always prioritised. Maybe I don't have an answer yet because I'm still figuring it out.
The Pressure to Have a Clean Answer: I like connecting dots, telling stories, and making sense of things. But who I am outside of work isn't exactly neat or tidy. It's messy and evolving, which is uncomfortable to explain.
The Need to Prioritise Myself: I'm great at solving other people's problems, but prioritising myself? That's still a work in progress. Maybe this question feels tough because it forces me to look inward in a way I'm not used to.
Fear of What I Might Find: There's a part of me that's worried about what happens if I dig into this question and don't like the answer—or worse, realise I need to make changes I'm not ready for. Exploring who I am outside of work means stepping into the unknown, which is both terrifying and exciting.
So, thanks to ChatGPT for helping me shape these thoughts—and for being weirdly insightful for a LLM.
And of course, thank you, Ritchie, for asking the kind of question that lingers. You've given me something to carry into 2025—a year where I want to figure this out, slowly, imperfectly, and with curiosity. I don't expect a big epiphany, but I do think I'll add a few more things to the list of who I am outside of work. And maybe that's enough.
Commitment to the Journey
To make it real, I've decided to check in every three months:
Who is Audrey outside of work today?
What's changed?
What am I learning?
It might be messy, it might be small, but I think it's worth documenting. And hopefully, by the next check-in, I'll have managed at least one day of proper relaxation.
If you've ever been asked this kind of question—or just wondered who you are beyond what you do—I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Maybe your answer will inspire me. x
