Who Am I Outside of Work? Apparently, Someone Who Really Loves Fashion
I’ve been thinking this morning about why I started this blog. Or maybe not the why, because, honestly, I don’t quite know that yet.
More like, what got me here in the first place.
I think there are several reasons:
One, to just do the damn thing.
Two, because I have a lot of thoughts—like, a lot. And I like the idea of putting them down somewhere. Letting them sit. Thinking them through.
Life feels messy right now. Not in a falling-apart way, just in an I’m-not-really-sure-of-the-future-way.
I mean, I’m getting to the gym fairly regularly. I’m a pretty good friend. I always do the washing up before bed. I’m doing the things. I’m getting closer to balance at work.
And a big one, I’m getting much more comfortable with the idea of letting people down.
Which, for a recovering people-pleaser, feels huge.
Not because I’m actually going around failing people, but because for so long, I’ve felt like I was, even when I wasn’t.
It’s that old habit of assuming that if I say no, push back, or don’t meet every expectation, I’m disappointing someone.
And maybe sometimes I am.
But the reality?
It’s not as catastrophic as my brain makes it out to be. People deal. Life moves on. And according to Oprah, that means I’m living a courageous life. So, there’s that.
But I keep coming back to this question: Who is Audrey outside of work? A question my friend Ritchie threw at me. A question I want to be able to answer in a year’s time.
And that got me thinking about things I like. About this whole shop my wardrobe era I’m in.
It started with a creator I stumbled across, talking about this thing called dopamine dressing. And I thought, that sounds like something I’d love, but what even is it?
So, naturally, I asked ChatGPT.
Turns out, it’s the idea that you dress for you. Not trends. Not what the TikTok girlies are wearing. Just what makes you happy. And I love that. Because I don’t want to look like everybody else.
But if I really think about it, my love of fashion isn’t new, it’s just something I never named before. It’s in my carefully stacked collection of Vogue magazines, because I can’t bring myself to throw them away. It’s in the coffee table books on Japanese street style that I’ve collected over time, even though I don’t technically have the coffee table space for them. It’s in my weekend Pinterest scrolling, where the algorithm keeps feeding me obscure designers I’ve never heard of but instantly want to know everything about.
So now, part of my weekend routine is mentally going through my wardrobe, putting together outfits, pulling out necklaces I haven’t worn in ages, matching colours, making things fun, because I think fashion should be fun.
I’ve even started sending daily-ish fit check videos to my friend Alice in New Zealand as she gets ready for bed. Just for fun.
And here’s the thing. For the longest time, I thought I was just someone who liked buying clothes.
But no...
turns out, I actually love fashion. I love putting outfits together. I love thinking about it. I love evolving my style, experimenting with it, figuring out what feels me.
It took a conversation with my friend Dina to realise that not everyone does this. I was explaining my whole wardrobe planning system to her, how I think ahead about what I’m going to wear so I can make the most of what I have while saving time in the morning. And she just looked at me and said,
Oh, you’ve got way more time to think about this stuff than I do. I just pick something and go.
And that’s when it hit me.
The things we assume are normal, the things we do without thinking are actually our things.
The stuff that makes us us.
So yeah, maybe one of my answers to who is Audrey outside of work? is this:
I love fashion.
Not in a frivolous way, but in a this is a creative outlet for me way. In a this brings me joy way.
And that’s really cool.
