The Courage to Be Disliked

I was talking to a friend about work, about how frustrating it's been to push for things, how exhausting it feels to keep proving myself, how there are still moments where it feels like I'm swimming against the tide.

And then she hit me with a question I cannot shake:

"So… who doesn't like you?"

At first, I was thrown. It sounded brutal, like she was suggesting I had some obvious enemy lurking in the background. But she wasn't being harsh, she was being honest. Which is something I just love about her.

Her point was simple: You're clearly great at what you do. So if you're still facing resistance, it's not about talent it's about politics.

And politics?

That's about people.

And that's when it landed.

Of course, some people don't like me. That's just how it works. You can be excellent and still face roadblocks not because you're not good enough, but because someone, somewhere, has decided you're not their person.

And here's the part I didn't expect to realise: 

I think I like it.

Not in a petty way, ha, I don't need your approval . But in a way that tells me I'm not diluting myself to fit in. I'm not contorting into something more palatable just to make things easier. And, deep down, I know that ruffling the right feathers means I'm probably pushing for the right things.

Because if everyone likes you, what does that say?

Which brings me, oddly enough, to interior design.

According to the content creators I follow, there is a growing appetitie to shift away from the beige-washed, Instagram-perfect, panelled-wall aesthetic.

The trend now?

Homes that actually look lived in. Homes with books stacked in messy piles, mismatched art, things that feel real. And I love that, because I've never been a minimalist. I like stuff. And every time I see another identical, neutral-toned, showroom-perfect living room, I think: I'd rather have a home that looks like a person actually lives here.

And maybe that's the same with people.

If everyone likes you, you're probably the human equivalent of a beige, panelled living room inoffensive, designed for mass appeal, fitting neatly into expectations. But if some people don't like you? Maybe you've got character. Maybe you're actually living.

I remember Oprah once said, "You cannot live a brave life without disappointing some people" And she's right. Because how could you be? If no one ever disagrees with you, if you never make anyone uncomfortable, if you're always perfectly digestible, then you're lying to them or you're lying to yourself.

And I don't want to lie to myself.

So yes, there are people who don't like me. Some of them might even be working against me. But instead of wasting energy on that, I'm taking it as confirmation that I'm showing up as me. In full colour. With edges, with texture, with a story that isn't designed to please everyone.

And as that realisation lands, a small, knowing smile rises.

Because maybe, just maybe, that's the whole point.