The Lead in My Own Story

I keep thinking about the film The Holiday. There is a scene where Kate Winslet's character, Iris, is sitting across from Arthur Abbott, the old Hollywood screenwriter.

And he says to her:

"Why do you let yourself be the best friend? You're supposed to be the leading lady of your own life."

And she just sits with it.

Because she knows.

She knows she's been waiting around, letting someone else take up all the space, all the emotion. Letting herself be written as a supporting act in her own story.

And yeah. That hit.

Because then I think about him.

Not as the one that got away.

No, not that.

But as a character.

Someone who came in, shook things up, left, and then came back. And for a while, I thought the whole lesson was in his return, what it meant, what it said, what it revealed.

But now?

I see it differently.

He wasn't the story.

He was just a plot point.

A supporting character.

And that's the thing about supporting characters—they're not just there. They exist to do something, to move the lead actor forward, to change the way she sees the world. And once they've done that, they go.

That's what he did.

He showed me something new. A feeling I hadn't had before. A depth of connection I now know exists. And because of that, because of him, my whole baseline has shifted. It's not about waiting for him, hoping for another comeback.

It's about knowing, fully.  Deeply knowing that I'll never accept anything less than this level of connection again.

And that's why this isn't his story.

It's mine.

I used to let people take up too much space in my world, in my head. I used to frame them as the plot, instead of just a moment in it. But I don't see it that way anymore. Some people are meant to be chapters, not the whole book. Some people come in, shake things up, and then leave—because their job is done.

And I'm grateful for that.

Because now I see it.

I know what I want.

I know what I won't settle for.

And I know I'm not just some character waiting to be chosen.

I'm the lead.

And I get to decide what happens next.